people who resist routine do stupid sh1t 

WHAT A DAY. i’m currently tucking in to a glass of shiraz because at 9:45, it’s too late to eat dinner. i only managed to get in to my house 45 minutes ago, mainly due to the fact that i yet again managed to lock myself out. when did i realise i had no key? about the same time my husband text me to say his plane had landed in another city. go me. 

because i got locked out, i also drained my battery to 8% leaving the office. this only ever happens when I actually might need my phone in an emergency. it meant i had extremely limited time and opportunity to bone up on lock picking techniques, which I have come to realise are not in the same league of ‘easy YouTube tutorials’ as say, learning to crochet (learnt to crochet via YouTube, by the way). lock picking isn’t going to be a 2 minute refresher job. as I have discovered, 40mins after trying the ‘pick a lock in 30 secs’ techniques. 

pick the freaking librarian who thinks you can learn everything online, hmm?  I was so cock sure I’d do it, too. ha-de-ha. 

in other bad turned into goodish news, my train line was suspended, however it did mean I could race in to the shops at camberwell for (totally useless) paper clip and bobby pin supplies for future picking of lock attempts, a new charge lead, and a tin of cat food to calm the crazy hunger-driven mog that would be waiting at the front step. 

it was about this time I realised that before leaving work, I’d made the decision not to put my usb power bar back in my bag, because my brain clearly decided it was extra weight when I had no charge lead. so I had to buy that to go with the charge lead. charge lead purchase is now twice as much as anticipated. thankfully power bar was already powered up, because I also forgot to buy the actual socket bit to make the whole thing work.

when I did get home, I spent another 40 mins feeding wailing cat straight from tin while smaller wailing cat inside the house clawed at the door, frantically stabbing at locks with bent paper clips, and yelling at my husband down the phone for securing our house so well against the unsavoury elements, such as wives who refuse to put things like keys in logical places. 

eventually it came down to a decision: do I call a very expensive emergency locksmith who will no doubt take an hour to arrive and 30sdcs to open my door safely? or do I find a large blunt object and hurl it at the door repeatedly? 

I didn’t want to say on Twitter immediately why I managed to break a lock with garden shears, but it’s now repaired and the perimeter secure again…. so this is why I did it. because I’m a daydreaming idiot. we have no shed, no cat was locked in shed. I simply do not have the ability to remember where things are and to put them in sensible spots. this is a regular occurrence. last week I put butter in a cupboard and my headphones were in the washing basket. 

at the end of it, my lovely cats are fed. I got away with a lockout for under $50 (not including phone charging, lock picking, and cat distracting supplies).  I have wine. I am not sleeping in a garage. 

I am taking it as a win. 

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